mom

I left a comment on alone in holyland yesterday about my mother and how she hurt me.  Some women are ready to be mothers at a young age, some are ready to share their lives with their children but some are not. My mother was young and she made mistakes.  She abandoned me when I needed her most.  She was not there for me when I needed her to be; when I needed an advocate, when I needed a voice because I had none she was not there.

All my life I have tried to forgive and forget her.  To let go of the grudge I have against her and move on.  At times I believe I have but in all honesty I know that I have not.  I have tried harder at some points in my life, other times I have given up.  I have made similar mistakes to hers in an effort to understand why she did what she did, thinking that maybe then I could forgive her.

Now we are better, or as good as I think we will ever be.  And what happened last night surprised me more than I can say; she was there for me.  I did not even know how much I needed her until she was right there with me.  My mom was there for me.  That is a sentence I don't believe I have ever said and it really brings a smile to my face to say it.  So maybe it's not too little too late to try and make our relationship work.

After all, last night MY MOM WAS THERE FOR ME ::smiles::