not sure

I feel like those two words sum me up perfectly lately.  I am just so unsure.  I just don't know, about anything...at all.

I could be holding myself back and screwing up yet another relationship but I am too broken to do anything about it.  I feel like I am witnessing a car wreck in slow motion. No, like I am the one causing it.  As though all I have to do is turn the wheel and avoid the collision all together but that for some reason I just cannot move.

On the other hand what if it isn't a wreck? What if this is meant to be? What if this isn't my happily ever after?  I could have sworn this really was it; that he really was it.  But maybe it's not that I am messing it up for the wrong reasons but for the right ones.

The worst part is that I'm pretty sure this week will determine the outcome of my current relationship and I feel like I am sleep walking through my life at the moment.  Like I am stuck unable to avoid the collision I can clearly see is about to happen.

I'm not sure.