what if?

What if I made a huge mistake? What if it was the right thing to do but is still produced an outcome I'm not happy with?

Is it possible to hide your feelings for someone else? I guess I know better than anyone that of course it is. But yet I'm stuck here wondering if I was never over my ex to begin with. I thought I was and i told everyone I was but the truth is I just erased him. I pretended he did not exist and now he is all I can think about.

The boy and I broke up and it's for good. I had known I was over it for a while but i'm never good at admitting defeat and that's what it felt like, another huge failure. He was everything my ex wasn't and yet lacked so much my ex had.

My uncle and I spoke today and he says I can't keep my ex on the back burner. And I know I can't but I also know that I can't stop thinking about him. When we broke up I told him he had to change and he not only realized I was right but he has actually changed so much and I feel like I will fall for him all over again and I know I shouldn't and cannot do that so soon.

I need to work on my issues, I need to work on me. And yet I keep looking at my phone hoping my ex will call.

life in progress